great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
