I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
