whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
