I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i think my cat just said my name.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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