You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
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Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?