if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.