We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
