its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
