so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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