They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
