He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize