I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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