She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
