My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Randomize
