are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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