My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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