Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
