Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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