Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
