how can u be prego again
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
