forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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