Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
