She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My dick has a subreddit
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
