You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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