I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
