Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I deserve this hangover.
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