Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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