I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
