I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I sprained my soul last night
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize