Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also, beer. Big fan.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
