Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
