people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize