what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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