Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
