yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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