My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
