over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize