Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i need some magic done to my vagina
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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