and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize