Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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