I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
