Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
