I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
