im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
