Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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