I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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