I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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