Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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