Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
