Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
