a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
