u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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