just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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