u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
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This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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