I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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