I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Randomize
