I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Randomize
