I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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