i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
