Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
