Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
