Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
