i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
